Streetlights and perspective.

Some decisions come to me like someone sneaking up behind you. You can hear the nylon of their jacket rubbing together, getting closer and closer to you until you turn around. There is no violence. Just that moment where you are staring at each other, too close for comfort. And you let go.

And in that way, I am letting go on my 4 month project. It was full of love and passion when it was just me and Tiff. When it was exactly what every TEDx project should be: a learning experience, interesting new conversations and hope. The relationship lost that beautiful, promising glow when it was bogged down in partnerships, stalled relationships and too much time taken for things other than working with our speakers.

As I find peace in letting go of this project, just when it was clearly not where I am supposed to be right now, I reread and remember:

"If you look straight ahead at nighttime, the brightest things you see are the streetlight, or the porch light, or the car light. Because of the curious urban phenomenon of light pollution, these appear to be the only lights around. But step outside the city and then look up—and you see the fires that have forever made mankind dream. Stars.

In the dim haze of city lights, we can lose sight of the things above us. As a result, it’s easy to settle for the things directly in front of us. It’s easy to settle for the streetlight or the porch light or the car light; that is, it’s easy to settle for the things practically being handed to us after graduating from this place: creature comfort, a good reputation, a cozy paycheck. I don’t mean to say these things are bad—streetlights are good, especially in New Haven—but the difficulty always lies not so much in separating the bad from the good, but the good from the best. The dim haze of the merely good can crowd out the truly high, bright, and beautiful. And we guard against this—because a streetlight, as it were, can’t hold a candle to stars.

So you and I—let’s continue to look up. Let’s seek out the things bright enough to live for: a world of wonder, the world through which the life found looking in will walk alongside the lives found looking out. "

--- all credit to:

Yena Lee

Yale 2012

Princeton Ph.D Candidate

Wandering.

The wandering has begun. I finished my time with the TED content team, and now I'm in Boston for a few days working on some research and finishing a project proposal to launch next week before I head to London and Turkey to connect with some interesting people and new projects.

I have never been very good at the "relaxed" vacation... I think part of it is that I remember days based on the cool things I was working on at the time. It's a celebration of time, as I see it.

This is my plan to actually sort of relax and make the most out of my vacation time until I start working at Locus. The goals go as follows:

1) Make time to write. Every single day.
Even if this means just for myself in the privacy of the notebooks that I sketch out ideas for articles and blog posts next to my grocery lists or my hardbound journal, I need to do more of it. It's centering and helps me think through things that might be floating in bits and pieces around other parts of my mind. I also need to spend a little more time blogging because... well I've missed it.

2) Reading Books. Not just articles and blogs and emails and everything else I read on a daily basis.
I love the fast information and touches into different things I can get through articles, but it will never replace the longer mental conversations that we have with characters in books when we really sit down and engage with the author. I honestly do think that my writing has improved because I read as much as I do for fun. (Not just because I have to!) Plus, it's really the sign of a vacation for me when I can close my laptop for a while and just read something unrelated to my research because I want to.

3) Go for long walks just to see things in New York => Boston => London => Istanbul => Bodrum.
I think this ties in a bit with the hypothetical love child of the "solo" trip I took in the woods for a few short hours my freshman year of high school and my desire to fill a notebook with ideas, vignettes of narratives I'm thinking about, and weird research thoughts. The solo trip was one where my high school planted us together in the woods for two weeks, and we had an option to be dropped off alone somewhere in the woods for series of hours and entertain ourselves. As someone who falls between the Introvert and the Extrovert on that scale (speaking of which, interesting thoughts), this was wonderful and terrible at the same time. I love the energy of being around people, but often crave alone time to draw out my thoughts into tangible language. I had a notebook and all the time in the world.

4) Take the train to every corner of Manhattan (then I will move on to Brooklyn)
(Fairly straightforward, but promises some interesting experiences)

5) Go back to my creative projects.
Though most people don't know this, I do some work in jewelry design on the side. I need to go back through my boxes and do some work with the beads and other materials that I have been saving for some time... good time for me to get back in touch with some people I've sold to before and make some extra cash!

And

6) Work on TEDx. All day every day. (Which always makes me happy!)

A few TEDGlobal 2013 talks

This week was absolutely phenomenal.

To give you an idea, the three talks that are up right now are:

from an Amazing Activist

an argument to stop the use of military drones

a pitch to reform European democracy

and, of course, some quadcopters.

oh, and, the Sandra Boynton when Pigs Fly TEDxYale Video that was played during one of the session.

TEDGlobal Day 2. Morning Edition

Hello,

Admittedly it has only been a few hours of TED and real TED hasn't kicked off yet -- it will happen this evening around 4pm. But I am taking my afternoon coffee and mooching off the free wifi in the coffee shop across the street. The people working behind the counter now recognize me. I guess this is my local version of Woodland Tea and Coffee in New Haven...

This morning was a TED Workshop called, Taming Wicked Problems. I ran into a few of the TEDx organizers that I saw yesterday at the TEDx workshop and also at the reception last night in the Edinburgh castle. The workshop was run by a fellow from Autodesk and Singularity University. We tried a new method of workshopping/problem solving that was really interesting. We weren't allowed to speak, but wrote down different elements of a "wicked problem." Then we stuck them all to the board and had to arrange them into categories, still without speaking. I liked this method of communicating something very complicated [the topic my team picked, at the urging of the woman I was sitting next to at the table, was drug trafficking].

This afternoon Dad and I are going to be part of a filming project that will go up tomorrow... exciting and mysterious, no?

Last night we attended a cocktail party in Edinburgh castle, which was lovely. I talked to some really interesting characters, including one of the speakers for this week who is a specialist in "wild sex" research. I also saw a few of the TEDx organizers that I had met earlier that afternoon when we went to hike King Arthur's seat. The sun doesn't set her until after 10, so we had a beautiful sunny view of the city and walked home still in the sunlight around 10pm.

Well, time to run and get ready for this afternoon's activities!

TEDGlobal: TEDx Organizers workshop

Hello!

I got up early this morning, walked to the theater in the now cloudy Edinburgh, and gave my talk! So easy after all the build up haha (it helps that this was my second time and we did a funny stage prep thing to make everyone relax. Rives and Kelly asked us questions like, what was the craziest thing that you did for love? to make everyone laugh. My question was: what is your worst habit? Funny, because I am going to work for Kelly after Global... It was hard to come up with something on the spot, so I said that I get really frustrated when people walk slowly on the sidewalk and I usually grumble to myself). 

My talk will go up later under the TEDx resources page for University students looking to start or continue with their university level TEDx events. I was covering the basic issue of University vs TEDx branding and how to build a partnership with your university. 4 minutes. Alongside some really wonderful TEDx organizers from TEDxParis, TEDxBerlin, TEDxKhartoum, TEDxChange and TEDxCity2.0. 

Me with Kelly Stoetzel on the TED Stage after my talk

Kelly and Rives MCing for the TEDx Organizers workshop

So much fun to be here. My Dad was also in the audience, taking some pictures and adding commentary for when I finished speaking. Rives pointed out that we might be the only Father-Daughter TED team at Global right now. He also mentioned our friends Robin and Cameron, a Mother-Daughter team that has been at TED together before. I wish they were here this year too!

I have a little down time before I go on the TEDx organizers hike on the beautiful hill tops just outside the city. There are a few sessions this afternoon based on specific issues that organizers have encountered during there work, but Dad and I ducked out to check email in a coffee shop and get through some work. 

Some news from today: 

The next TEDx Summit will be in.... BERLIN!!!!!!!!

For those of you who dont know, I love Germany and particularly Berlin. This is wonderful news. 

There will also be a TEDCity2.0 event this year in New York, TEDWomen has moved out to California (Tiffany and I are trying to figure out how we get there...) and organizers around the world are pooling together data and tips for videos on TEDx How Tos that are going online. So look for them!

So that's my update for now. We start official TEDGlobal tomorrow! More time for me to play today.

I got an interesting challenge from Rives, which will be my goal for the week: he said that I am clearly comfortable on stage speaking candidly about things I know something about... so why not try being funny? Or... spoken word.

So there we go! The push I needed -- I'll look for some space for me to give it a try in New York. And, as he put it, push until it doesn't work anymore.

Also, my name tag is really sweet: 

Till later then!

Confessions of a Fair Trade Shade Grown Vegan Hipster II

The first edition happened last summer in the monsoons of Mumbai. This edition comes from a new Chelsea resident as she gears up for TEDGlobal and the TEDx organizers workshop on June 9th.

Just as recap for people who missed the last one, I am not actually vegan or any of those other things. A friend coined this label for me a few years ago jokingly and it kind of stuck with some of our other friends. It is all in jest.

Well, a year ago I was living in an apartment in Colaba, waiting for the rains to come and take away the heat of Mumbai's early summers. I've come to the point where I miss India. I was reading Shantaram over the last few weeks and it made me miss it even more. I could imagine the scenes taking place in different areas of the city where I spent a good deal of time last summer. I could feel the heat burning my arms and the rains flowing in and out of my plastic shoes.... it was such a treat to read something that took me back there as much as this book did.

Sometimes it takes a year to see and remember what is worth seeing/remembering. For me, anyway, this is very true. I have a few friendships and projects that took time to settle and be everything that I hoped they would be.

Most importantly, I think I learned that we really can't expect every experience/relationship/project to turn out the same way. That seems really basic, especially when I write it out, but it took me a while to process that -- especially with friendships. We learn different things from different people. Why shouldn't the relationship reflect that? I think I'm a lot happier in understanding that we're all trying to do our best being ourselves. And in that, we all have to give a little bit of space to quirks and character. Just as people have to do with me. Plus, it would be really boring if all friendships were identical and taught you the same things. So, really, this is a good discovery for me.

This granola cruncher is getting ready now to leave for TEDGlobal. A perfect loop -- I went for the first time after I graduated from High school, and now I am back. As a recent college graduate. I'm excited to be back in the TEDx organizers Workshops -- TEDxYale is presenting best University level TEDx practices this time. So I'll be up there, giving a 4 minute talk alongside some other really awesome organizers from different TEDx conferences around the world. And then, of course, there is the part where we'll be in beautiful historic Edinburgh...

Catch me June 9th, 9am BST, 4am EST here

I think life works in loops sometimes -- as I said before, I rarely say "Goodbye" because there is a good chance that I will be back in some capacity in the future. I think I like it that way.

Yes, people do move on and fill gaps in their lives when we leave. But sometimes it doesn't matter as much -- like those friendships you go back to after months and it's exactly the same. Sometimes it changes things a lot, but the friendship matures with it. And other times, things need to fade into the background because it is healthier for both of you. There is nothing wrong with that, either.

While some of my friendships from home have grown and shifted with the past few years, we all found ourselves downtown watching the Bruins game in a sports bar last night. Things have changed -- we talked about the apartment and job search instead of things we were talking about in our classes or doing that weekend, but we're still friends. More seasoned, we love Boston more fiercely as a resulting of moving out of the city and being able to come back. I think we only grew to love it more after the Boston Marathon this spring...

So. Here's to time and patience and friendships that can grow along with you.

The Sound of Your Own Voice

It's kind of dreadful isnt it. At least, I am always shocked to see myself in a video and hear a recording of my voice. I usually just dont recognize it. Today I found many more of our student videos up on the TEDx youtube page... including my own talk from the TEDx Organizers session right before TEDActive.

I could feel my heart pounding just before my video finished loading on the deadly slow internet connection of my study space. I should be doing more Colombia work, and here I am watching TED videos. It's clearly summer time. I remember how nervous I was, how many times I practiced the talk with my head against the headrest of the chair in front on me on the flight from New York to Houston and then Houston to Palm Springs. The people next to me probably thought I was crazy, since my memorization technique is to repeat something quietly to myself with my eyes closed until I have it down. It feels best when the words come out like your breathe. With the substance nailed down, all you have to do is perform.

But the video loaded, and it was better than I expected. I'm still critical of many things -- words I would take out, I would speak more loudly (but that has often been something I would change about myself), and I would not have worn black in the hot desert sun right before the TEDActive hike... but we learn things in every episode of life, dont we?

In case you want to see it, here I am!

And please do watch some more serious talks from the TEDxYale 2012: A Twist of Fate conference. I am so proud of the work that they did!

Bob Casey - Recycling and Entrepreneurship
Vikram Mansharamani - Foxy Thinking
LaTisha Campbell - Activism and Social Justice
Matthew Claudel - Creativity and Design
Enrique Norten - Architecture and Open Communication
Sarah Parcak - Space Archaeology (2012 TED Fellow)
Priyamvada Natarajan - Dark Matter in our Universe
Wazhma Sadat - Voices fromAfghanistan
Sam Fox - Run While You Can
General Assembly's Matt Brimer and Brad Hargreaves - Failure
Rebecca Ringle - Live Performance
Keith Chen - Linguistics and Economics
Brad Rosen - Internet Privacy
Yael Zinkow - Our closer, on the perfect TED talk